Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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