You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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