the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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