sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
