these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i came on her dog
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
