Sry I called you an 8
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Are we still banned from the library?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
