Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
so much tequila, so little girl.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
