he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just invented taco cereal.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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