dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
