Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
