I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
