she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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