I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he puts the penis in happiness.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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