i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
