trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My penis needs a shock collar
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
