My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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