5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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