Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize