He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
