I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
