she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
