HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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