Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
