a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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