That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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