I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
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