this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize