Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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