Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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