did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
and she was petting her beer can
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize