she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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