Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I DEMAND FORESKIN
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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