Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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