You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize