did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
