I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
