I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Someone shit on the floor
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
