lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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