She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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