he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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