Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
