My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
