Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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