could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
