Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
