Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
