She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
