Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
