are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
