is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
