those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I feel great
I just peed on a car
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
