is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
