last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
