i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
