i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
