is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
