Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
