Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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