Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
