The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
