Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
