I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
