the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
