i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
