so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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