I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My dick has a subreddit
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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