Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
