The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
