Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Randomize
