Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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