he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
