She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My vagina is officially offended.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
